I wrote this in 2011, before my official diagnosis. I was a 25-year-old kid fresh off a 5-year-long burnout cycle as a 911 dispatcher, with calls gone bad echoing through my head. I admire my mentality then and sometimes imagine myself as that naive young buck if not to escape this occasionally, to remind myself that everything is ultimately okay.

~

They say all things in nature must be leveled out or balanced.  Take, for example, the ocean's tide; when it's high tide here, it's low tide in Asia.  You can see it in something as simple as the seasons.  In summer, it's warm, so inevitably, winter must be cold.  This concept echoes through every aspect of humanity and seems to be accepted in all cultures.

In Chinese tradition, you see the ying and the yang, the perpetual cycle of good and evil.  In Egyptian lure, we hear of your entire life being measured against the weight of a feather to determine your placement in eternity.  Native American religions surround the idea of the balance of nature and teach the consequences of tilting the scale too far.

I ventured to Cancun with my local church when I was only fourteen, where I helped renovate a dilapidated church and rebuild a family home.  This is when I first realized the magnitude of this balancing act.  On the strip, you have paradise, where people from around the world come to relax and let loose.  Then just on the other side of a thin bay lives the heart of Cancun, the people.

In contrast to the lavish hotels on the strip, most Cancun-ians live in shacks tightly packed into communities that are intertwined by crater-filled dirt paths.  The people lucky enough to have jobs get to spend their entire day serving tourists with more money than they will ever have. You would think this life would be like hell on Earth, right?  Wrong, these were some of the happiest people I have ever met.  The scale for them has tilted away from wealth and prestige, causing the other side of the scale to rise.  The folks I met had close-knit, loving families and never-ending smiles. 

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Life has been good to me. From childhood to current years, I have been and remain blessed.  I love my life and wouldn't change a single day. In being so blessed, I find myself what would be a cursed man.  I've been recently diagnosed with Parkinsonism.  A blanket term that includes such wonderful things as Parkinsons Disease (PD), Essential Tremor, Multiple System Atrophy, and many other degenerative diseases.  My neurologist (the best around), Dr. John Goudreau of MSU) is one-by-one ruling out all other disorders and is heavily leaning on a diagnosis of, and currently treating me for, PD.  At my age, such a diagnosis is rare and takes several years to be monitored as no definitive testing is available.  So, in the meantime, my days are slowly becoming longer and harder, and my body seems to be turning against me.  I do everything I can in a day to hide my shaking hands and retain the strength to do all that is needed of me.

But you see, I came to a realization long ago.  I know that no matter how hard my life may get, in some way, I will be compensated.  I hear people say they can't imagine what I must be going through, or that they feel for me.  Well friends, save your pity for a weaker man.  I have history and nature on my side as evidence that my life will only get better if it's going to get worse.  And you know what? I'm okay with that.

As a friend what I want all of you to know is the following: Life has its struggles, hard times, bad luck, and downright horrible situations. But no matter what religion you follow or whatever you believe, one thing will remain true for both of us.

Everything's okay.

 

Nathan Lee Ward, a black belt since age 32 in Tang Soo Do, is a Certified Personal Trainer, Nutritionist, and Corrective Exercise Specialist, with a focus on Parkinson's exercise.

With three years training under Darbe Schlosser of Motorvation USA, he's a unique blend of goofball and empathetic soul.